i'm miserable despite what my mood says. it wouldn't load. anyway, have you ever watched something so beautiful, so graceful and so unique, die so slowly and painfully? i just did. in my opinion, birds are wonderful, gorgeous creatures. especially the black bird. one flew into my window a few hours ago. i called my dad, got some gloves on, and went to take care of it. it looked so scared. so alone. i wanted to cry. it looked up at me and squawked, which is a lovely sound to hear if you know it isn't terrified and in pain. my dad told me it would die, and i went back in. i watched it for a long time. it just lay there, rolling around and kicking. it hurt. i've never seen something like that. then it would just pause and lie still, gasping, then it tried to hop up, but it's leg was broken, and so was its wing. its eyes were wide with fear, and i tried to help it again, but it was too scared. it died a few hours later. to most people, a few hours is a few hours. but to me, at the moment, a few hours in pain, is a few years of torment. my dad won't let me bury it, or watch it to chase away stray cats and other birds. it just... hurt. i know you probably think i'm weird, and this would be normal to feel if i were ten or something, but this is just unfair. if my dad would have let me, i could have saved it. if my dad would have let me, it would be okay. i really feel as if this is my fault. i feel like i let it die. i feel like a horrible person for not helping it. i want to cry.